I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
tell me about the eggs
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
