I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
