Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize