Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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