i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
