Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
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It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
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I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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