Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
