I think my fart just growled at me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
