whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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