Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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