just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
