in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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