What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
