Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
