Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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