Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
