you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
