dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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