I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
