I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
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i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
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"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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