Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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