I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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