1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
