I wannas sexs uuuuu
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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