You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
