keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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