is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
