Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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