That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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