Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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