talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my vag is so smooth its legendary
he was CRYING into my vagina
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
