I bet he comes in French.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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