What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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