we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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