Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
is wine microwaveable?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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