so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
