it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
