she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
