Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
what day is it and did you see me today?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize