I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize