At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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