what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
