you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
