rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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