Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
