Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
They have beer where we have blood.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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