I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She's the barista slut.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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