I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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