I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
