My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize