I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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