She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
