cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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