I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
