Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I need a burrito and a hug.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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