also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
