I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
