My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
